tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1065848862650619142024-03-13T14:52:41.313-07:00Lady BellesNo faces, no names. A more personnal part of myselfEvelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-61243181331109508242016-04-15T19:33:00.001-07:002016-04-15T19:41:11.998-07:00Entry twenty-one : pourquoi je me sens si mal à l'intérieur ?<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-64Nb7SckczE/VxGkjdQ2OSI/AAAAAAAABBE/UIf0dS1la3M/s640/blogger-image-1764844181.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-64Nb7SckczE/VxGkjdQ2OSI/AAAAAAAABBE/UIf0dS1la3M/s640/blogger-image-1764844181.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Why have I been feeling so sick lately? It's like my interiors are devouring themselves and I can't do anything about it. I can't seem to find anything positive going on in my life right now. Everybody just keeps leaving, finals start tomorrow, I'm moving back at my parents' place by the end of the month. I miss having late night talks with either of the two douchebags I keep mentioning here (I think one of them got back with his ex girlfriend, so that could be the reason why he isn't talking to me...). <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">My roommate started stealing our food again. Seriously life, why can't you bring a little bit of sunshine in my life ? Close friends think I'm starting a depression since I lost a few inches and can't manage to sleep well and stuff, and a few of them assume I'm suffering from a broken heart, which might be more possible than a depression. I mean, I've studied depression, and if there's one disease in pretty sure I don't have, it's that one.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">On top of that, my roommates keep saying I have the perfect body figure, and that they're jealous of how I look, when they look way better than me, so it's just relatively annoying, cause no one here has a good self esteem about their body. So they make me feel bad, cause I don't "realize how pretty I am", and keep talking to me about it. I know it comes from the heart and they're trying to help me, but it just makes me feel bad ...</font></div>Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-13443456802989964082016-04-03T21:02:00.001-07:002016-04-03T21:02:54.167-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-SBuWr67iN_o/VwHnbbrlAZI/AAAAAAAABA0/W6ggi5azB20/s640/blogger-image--2010978363.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-SBuWr67iN_o/VwHnbbrlAZI/AAAAAAAABA0/W6ggi5azB20/s640/blogger-image--2010978363.jpg"></a></div>How annoying it is that the person you care most about hasn't even wished you happy birthday, 3 minutes before the end of it.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I'm feeling super depressed right now, it's so annoying</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I wanted birthday sex, he said he would give me some. He didn't.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">He might be in town while I'm not and is probably not gonna make an effort to stay longer</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I hate it</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Feeling this way</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I think this is the worst birthday I've had</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The other guy did not acknowledge the fact that it was my birthday too</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I mean, I even drunkenly asked you to wish me happy birthday and you didn't</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">And you're supposed to be my friend</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-43184413550715935882016-03-20T21:08:00.001-07:002016-03-20T21:25:20.180-07:00Entry nineteen: j'ai cédé et je sais pas trop quoi en penser<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-T7BohtAMgs0/Vu9zqGOEvCI/AAAAAAAABAg/G-ZXagj5Hs4/s640/blogger-image--1848463085.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-T7BohtAMgs0/Vu9zqGOEvCI/AAAAAAAABAg/G-ZXagj5Hs4/s640/blogger-image--1848463085.jpg"></a>The day before St.Patrick's Day, we were writing to each other a lot. Things were said, we got horny, I just gave blood and was drinking alcohol (yeah, not the best of ideas, I know) so I was a bit tipsy when I accepted to drive to his place and stay there for the night. (I had to walk 40 minutes and take a shower before actually driving. I was totally fine by then.) I thought things would be awkward, since we hadn't seen each other in over 2 months, and since I told him I was done, last time I was supposed to see him, but it wasn't. At least, not for him. He acted like he always did, looked happy to see me, cuddled. It was weird.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">As usual, a movie was playing, but I don't know what the plot was since things were starting to heat up 15 minutes after it had started. Foreplay was different though, and it took me a while to notice why; he couldn't get it up, which had never happened before. And when he finally did, it lasted 2 minutes. I laughed, and I felt so bad about it. It honestly doesn't bother me, I mean, I know it can happen sometimes, and it doesn't mean anything, but he was so mad at himself, and he was just so cute. Can I just say I made him moan! I've never we heard him make a sound except when he talks. We tried again about an hour later, was a bit longer. Then we talked a lot. We talked about cars, we talked about computers, we talked about how I'm never gonna fall in love with him (yeah right, who am I trying to fool -.-) and then, when he looked super thoughtful, I asked him what he was thinking about. He told me that he shouldn't act stupid with me and that he could show affection</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">How can I not fall for that?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Seriously!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The guy's a dick, but he's like a really cute dick!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Anyways, the next morning, he was supposed to kick me out if the house at 11:30. We got up at 10, had sex, took a shower while drinking a beer (hey, it was St. Patrick's Day after all) and then, we went to pick up his friend so he could have breakfast with us (of course, I took care of the food) and party afterwards. Anyhow, I ended up staying with him 'till 4, hanging out with his friends and meeting drink, green people. One of his friends called me the girlfriend, he presented me to another friend as "most importantly, this is (please insert name here). And right before I left, we went back to his place, alone, and even though he said he was deceived by the partying (or lack there of), he looked at me and smiled and said he was happy. And then, we went outside and he kissed me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Wtf</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Like, he could've kissed me while we were still inside, where nobody would've seen us, but he waited until we were outside to do so, even though I was acting relatively distant since I wasn't sure if I was only a booty call it not.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This guy is so confusing!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Also, I'm pretty sure the other guy I slept with saw me with him. Anyways, he had t been answering my texts for a while. I hate it!</div>Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-33987245503438623152016-03-07T10:00:00.000-08:002016-03-07T10:00:57.522-08:00Entry eighteen : Pourquoi les choses deviennent si compliquées lorsqu'il y a du sexe?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZeHek_LZgd8/Vt2-3Aec6jI/AAAAAAAABAQ/k0DBE11xhLk/s1600/917828_589390077800321_1381582_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZeHek_LZgd8/Vt2-3Aec6jI/AAAAAAAABAQ/k0DBE11xhLk/s400/917828_589390077800321_1381582_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
How can a guy be "yeah, we good" when he acts like that guy who makes conversations super awkward after we had sex. I mean, we are supposed to be good friends, not just friends who talk to each other every once in a while. No, we used to talk every day. An now we don't.<br />
He said he forgot about me, and that's why he didn't speak to me for a month, but seriously, I'm pretty sure there's something more to the story, cause I have made myself pretty present during that past month. He just ignores me, cause he can't deal with it. Other friends have three theories :<br />
1- Sex wasn't good at all<br />
2- He just regrets it<br />
3- He thinks I've grown attached (cause he warned me not to, even though I still have strong feelings for the other guy, and fell asleep crying, thinking about him after sex)<br />
3- He fell in love with me<br />
So, I'm pretty sure it isn't the latter, cause I've seen him in love with other girls. I'm thinking it was option 1, since that entire night is just a big blur with a few flashes now and then. It was as if I were in a trance or something like that. I think revenge sex isn't for me. Anyhow, he's just being super weird, says we're good, yet continues ignoring me most of the time. I'm feeling so ignored right now, and I hate the feeling. I'm not a bad person, and I don't think this is my fault, but I can't help but feeling guilty for what's happening.<br />
Also, I promised him I wouldn't talk about it to people he knows, and the only guys who can help me understand what's going on in his mind are guys he knows. Those guys used to talk to him and came back to me with answers, but now, I'm like "Please, I can't tell you what happened, but help me figure it out" and it's just annoying for both parties. Anyways, let's hope things clear up and everything goes back to normal. It feels so weird not having someone you used to talk to everyday not answering your messages... and I had two guys like that, who stopped answering me at the same time... :/Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-78415181040548741742016-02-21T13:32:00.001-08:002016-02-21T13:40:47.573-08:00Entry seventeen : lettre à quelqu'un que je suis incapable de détester<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xG3m9b77_k4/Vsos_sOg8iI/AAAAAAAABAA/mGyAJ7HSgA8/s640/blogger-image--1701510983.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xG3m9b77_k4/Vsos_sOg8iI/AAAAAAAABAA/mGyAJ7HSgA8/s640/blogger-image--1701510983.jpg"></a></div>There are so many things that just didn't add up with you. I thought I had you all figured out, and then I didn't, and that kept happening on a loop. At first, I was on a cloud; I'd never met you, but you had such a great personality... I don't usually text guys till 3 am on the daily, as I tend to get bored of it really quickly. You were the exception. It lasted a little bit less than a month, then, you wanted to meet....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I started this post 3 weeks ago, while I was working. A friend came to see me and we talked, and I had stuff to do after that, so I never finished writing it. My emotions were at a peak. I was mad, furious, and then sad. Guy didn't want me over, and thought it was obvious that having sex, meant just having sex and not staying at his place to sleep after that... Even though he knew damn well I lived an hour's drive from his place. Being as stupid as I am when it comes to people deceiving me, we spoke a week later, and even though both of us are super distant, we are in good terms.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Now, this is where I fucked up. That night, after being told that I had no place to go, after having an anxiety attack, my best friend and I fucked. He had just dumped his girlfriend, he was sad, I was infuriated, emotions were at their peak. I asked him, I wanted to make sure this wouldn't happen; I didn't want him to think I wasn't taking advantage of the situation, since he kept telling me "I'm single now, but I'm not telling you that so we can fuck, please don't try to", yet, he was the one begging me to come that night. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">He said he wanted this, that I wouldn't be taking advantage of him. He told me he wouldn't regret it. And in the morning, the guilt took over. It's been 3 weeks, and he still hasn't talked to me. And I feel so broken inside. You realize how much you can miss someone when that person isn't there anymore when you want to tell them something. That night, I lost 2 guys to whom I could tell everything. For the past week, I've been feeling more lonely than usual. It's weird, isn't it, how, even though I love being alone, there's always someone to whom I wanna tell everything, a person that makes me smile whenever something goes on with his life and he feels the need to tell me all about it, even though it can be the most uninteresting thing for me. </div>Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-74694703248824775102016-01-04T22:58:00.001-08:002016-01-04T23:13:24.144-08:00Entry sixteen: la fois où j'ai oublié ce blog<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BTfjCMr3LXg/VotpjNUnCEI/AAAAAAAAA_w/Jsque7JgUtw/s640/blogger-image-823854045.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BTfjCMr3LXg/VotpjNUnCEI/AAAAAAAAA_w/Jsque7JgUtw/s640/blogger-image-823854045.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Whilst trying to watch Game of Thrones, and being really tired (let's be honest, I will probably fall asleep on this current episode; I haven't been sleeping very well/enough lately), I remembered I used to write on here. And this past month has been a very confusing month. My emotions have been all over the place, I don't know where I stand, and I hate how confusing everything is.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I met this guy at the beginning of November, online. Funny, smart, interesting. We ended up going on a date by the end of the month. At first, he was a bit of a letdown (hey, I have high expectations, but not intentionally!), the night was a bit awkward, but by the end of the night, things got better and we made out in my car, with a beautiful view of Montreal just in front of us. The following night, he drunk texted me saying he liked me and that he would like to find me the day after. That's how it really started. I met him up, we slept together, and I went back to Quebec City. We texted each other everyday (still do) and planned the next time we would meet up (he spent winter break in Montreal, I mean, he was close, and it would be simple to see him more than once every 2 weeks). When I finally finished school, I headed back to Montreal first thing, and drove right to his place, where we spent the day together. He had mentioned wanting to have the relationship talk a bit earlier during the week, so when it was time I left his place, we talked about it. He said he didn't want anything serious. I thought I wanted that as well, but when his words came out, I felt a pinch in my heart; I never wanted to get attached, he lives far from both my parents' place and my apartment, and I didn't think I wanted something serious, because school and the fact that I want to move to another country in less than 2 years. I guess the heart doesn't talk to the brain before making decisions... Anyhow, I didn't mention my feelings right away, continued seeing him until he left Montreal to go visit his family. He mentioned wanting to be able to fuck other girls, I said I wasn't comfortable with that, ended up telling him how I felt. He cares if I get hurt, we talked a lot, cleared things up, made agreements. He was acting like a boyfriend before we talked about it, and I said he should be acting the way he was. We talked a lot.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Well, last time I saw him was on New Years. He absolutely wanted me to come over. He was all snuggly, and wouldn't stop kissing me, and giving me way more attention than he used to. He didn't want to have sex, and even asked me if I was only using him for sex (not in a really serious way, but still). When I asked him "isn't that what our relationship is about?", he answered with a "oh... Yeah..."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I'm the one who's supposed to be attached, yet he seems to care more about us than me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Also, there's this other friend, the one I had a crush on in my last posts. So he now has a girlfriend, he's not too happy about being in a relationship but likes and respects the girls a lot. Yet, when we have our middle of the night talks, he sometimes mention that he regrets not having slept with me before his girlfriend arrived in the portrait. And the other day, he told me to stop seeing the other guy (I tell him everything), cause he wants to keep me open and free... For him... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Why are guys so confusing? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-74947665464948815292015-06-03T08:42:00.001-07:002015-06-03T20:49:11.814-07:00Entry fifteen : une nouvelle expérience en Grèce<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-rCvpn0IyVwY/VW8geVjrrpI/AAAAAAAAA_I/g_XCJDMBgjM/s640/blogger-image--482288132.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-rCvpn0IyVwY/VW8geVjrrpI/AAAAAAAAA_I/g_XCJDMBgjM/s640/blogger-image--482288132.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">So, two weeks ago, I was in hot, sunny Greece, having the time of my life. Rainy, humid Canada was not missed at all! Neither was all the drama that comes with being home... We visited a few islands, went to the beach, rented quads and partied abusively. My liver was completely trashed by the end of the trip! Even if I kept telling myself I would never drink again, how can you refuse a free drink, or not play drinking games with hot Aussies... I'm pathetic, I know! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">During this trip, I've had my fair share of new experiences! Kissing fish foot massage, driving a quad, climbing on the roof of a chapel to have a better view of the sunset, riding a donkey, carrying a not-so-lightweight backpack, and probably the biggest first time experience I've ever had, a one night stand...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">It didn't go at all as I would've expected it too. The guy was actually freaking romantic, it was kinda weird. I tend to make things weird, so maybe it was just me... Anyway, I just want to write about it somewhere, and since I kinda write a few personal stuff on here, why not?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">So, I don't really know why he chose me. I mean, his abs could be in a Calvin Klein ad, and I'm not fit. I haven't been to the gym in months and stopped running more than a month ago because of my nose surgery. Plus, he's a bartender at this hostel I was staying at, and it's not like I was the only girl there. And the first thing I said to him was : "ooh, you're Australian?" 👌🏻 so, after his shift was over (midnight), we all went to this club, and since it was my first night on this island, I didn't know anybody but my travel companion, who was flirting with this Israeli dude. So I was dancing on my own, and he saw me and gave me shots, and drinks, and multiple water bottles before we left for the club, I was already tipsy, so at this point, I was really drunk, so I went outside to take a bit of fresh air and sit down a bit. He proceeded to follow me, to give me a neck massage, and to propose to go for a walk. Dear Aussie, you have just won my drunken heart by proposing that. He brought me to a church, which had a very nice view of the <i>Chora. </i>It was so nice, seeing the lights, and the sky, and the sea. On the way down, we passed his apartment, where he asked me if I wanted to take a look inside to which I accepted. Once inside, I tried taking off my scrappy sandals... Drunk me is a bit useless in every possible way and couldn't take them off, so he took them off. We then kissed as he lifted me in his arms, to bring me to his bed (cause there was about 10 beds in the apartment). When we were done, he gave me a back massage. A fucking back massage! And that was probably after the worst sex of his life. Gave me water, brought me back to my room because I was worried my friend didn't have a key, which, turns out, she did. Once in my room, he made me drink more water and stayed with me a while.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I don't think this was a typical one night stand, but then again, it might just be me. As per usual, I ended up making things awkward the morning after, and left the island without a goodbye... Sad.</div>Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-68528786828810849982015-05-03T22:07:00.001-07:002015-05-03T22:07:44.324-07:00Entry fourteen: est-ce que je peux avoir une réponse?<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/--RzE68xYFrU/VUb-ni62WwI/AAAAAAAAA-0/RU4LnZlk6S0/s640/blogger-image--53070485.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/--RzE68xYFrU/VUb-ni62WwI/AAAAAAAAA-0/RU4LnZlk6S0/s640/blogger-image--53070485.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Still waiting for university answers. I've been accepted into one, but not the one that I would love to go to. I'm annoyed by the fact that they won't give me an answer. At this point, I don't care if I'm accepted or refused, I just want an answe, so I can start looking for an apartment. I think I'm just gonna call the university tomorrow.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">On another note, a friend asked me to ignore this guy, just for fun and to see how long it will take him to notice or to talk to me. I can't ignore the guy, but I damn well can not initiate a conversation with him. Since I started this, he started writing a weird, random comment on My Instagram ponctuées a day. I'm not sure what to think of that haha. I don't know if it's a coincidence or if he realized we don't speak every day anymore. He's never on Instagram either... Usually. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">My friend saw that and texted me that the guy was digging me, all that whilst my other (jealous) friend had my phone in her hand. Awkward stare happened... Oh well. I know the guy's not into me, but the reactions my friend can have are just priceless. God, I can be mean sometimes. But it's entertaining being mean sometimes. I guess my friend was right. I will be going to hell after all !</div>Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-21807177488804436682015-04-26T20:47:00.001-07:002015-04-26T21:02:02.815-07:00Entry thirteen : est-il humain de se sentir devenir folle petit à petit?<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-vP7bx5MHmtY/VT20uNiavII/AAAAAAAAA-c/y5uYJaXhBAM/s640/blogger-image-358198896.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-vP7bx5MHmtY/VT20uNiavII/AAAAAAAAA-c/y5uYJaXhBAM/s640/blogger-image-358198896.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Oh how I long for the summer time, where I can do something of my days off, when I can wear close to no clothes and not get sick, where it's sunny almost everyday of a week. Tired of the rain, tired of watching tv shows and not seeing anybody. I've had a septoplasty last Monday. Can't work for another full week. Couldn't drive, couldn't eat proper food, couldn't even wash my hair or my face! Last week was boring as fuck! What happens when I'm bored? I take bad decisions... Like apologizing to the douche from last post. As if I were to blame for the shit that happened. (Okok, I may have overreacted a bit, but he's still to blame!) Now, it's as if nothing ever happened. That's the problem... It still happened, and it still hurts. And he doesn't realize it, and just talks about the girl of his dreams for ages and ages. And my heart breaks a bit more every time he mentions her. I don't know why I do that to myself. It's as if I like the suffering. Or maybe I simply deserve the suffering... he's making me go mad, and I still go towards him every time I get the chance. How can a feeling leave you feeling like this? How is this normal? It isn't normal for me to be sad every time I go to bed, to overthink everything he says or write, and tontorture myself with it. I wish I could just meet somebody who would just make me forget the way I'm feeling right now. Love is such a stupid, horrible feeling. I don't get how people actually write happy songs about it. I hate love.</div>Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-62801458994864749912015-04-17T21:19:00.001-07:002015-04-17T21:19:59.592-07:00Entry twelve : quand tu sais que t'as probablement les pires amis du
monde<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QJk_OZCvezU/VTHbblIbnzI/AAAAAAAAA-I/fflAA3SPQug/s640/blogger-image-642713062.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QJk_OZCvezU/VTHbblIbnzI/AAAAAAAAA-I/fflAA3SPQug/s640/blogger-image-642713062.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Been planning this trip to Indonesia for the past month with this friend. Still haven't bought the plane tickets yet. Why? Cause she's delaying things. "Oh, I've got this job interview", "oh, they won't tell me when I would start if I were to be hired". Come on girl, we are supposed to leave in three fucking weeks! Plane tickets would be a good thing to have since the prices have passed from 1200$ to 1900 in the past week! 700$ difference in one single week!! And now, miss wants to forget Indonesia and travel Europe. Europe would be nice, but not when I want to trekk and learn how to surf and see monkeys and elephants. So I proposed Vietnam, 1022$. She said no and now she's fucking ignoring me. That friend is the girl I used to call my best friend. Can people just stop acting like dicks around me? I'm sick and tired of just being some kind of joke to them. Am I. It a good person? I guess my "closest" friends aren't really my friends at all after all...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">God I hate the feeling! Everybody has been a letdown lately. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I wish I could just sleep until everything gets better and I'm not filled with frustration and disappointment towards everyone I used to care about...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-45245178037673269792015-04-15T18:36:00.000-07:002015-04-18T07:45:08.128-07:00Entry eleven : cela fini toujours par m'arriver<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hQkVikHiHx4/VS8NNlRVcEI/AAAAAAAAA90/kmJJ0RS9w8k/s1600/_MG_1234.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hQkVikHiHx4/VS8NNlRVcEI/AAAAAAAAA90/kmJJ0RS9w8k/s1600/_MG_1234.jpg" height="340" width="640"></a></div>
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Why is it that every time I fall for a guy, I just end up being hurt. I was drunk, he figured out how I felt about him because of that, and he doesn't care at all that all he does in front of me can hurt me. Why are guys such jerks ? I only asked one thing of him; to not kiss my best friend. I mean, he is quite the player when he's drunk, so I didn't expect him to not flirt with girls when I saw him. I know how he is. But why did he fucking have to kiss MY friend. Didn't bother telling me, my friend put it in my face quite frankly, then he's all "who told you ?" and "I did fuck all wrong". That was the guy calling me <i>Bestie </i>last week. The guy who wrote to me every single night for more than a week until this weekend. The same guy who's actually been ignoring me ever since I confronted him about it. I hate falling for someone. Even admitting it to myself is hard, cause I know how I'll end up feeling after a while. why can't I just fall for a proper guy who actually cares about how I feel. And my friend is acting like a bitch ever since we met him and his gang, but she's just enjoying this way too much. Worst part is she probably doesn't even realize it !</div>
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I hang out with the wrong people. Everybody ends up disappointing me one way or an other. How is it that genuinely nice human beings are so rare ? I know now why I hated so much hanging out with people before and why I was so happy simply being alone. No drama, no worries, just me, my thoughts, doing art. Such a simple life I used to live. But I gotta see the bright side. I've been exercising every day since being mad at him. Which is quite a lot for me! Motivation can be present in many forms, I guess mine presents itself when I'm pissed at a guy I have a crush on. Still don't know if it's a good or a bad thing yet, but I'll take it as it passes!</div>
Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-12462922163365765582015-03-24T07:24:00.001-07:002015-04-15T18:36:31.982-07:00Entry ten : papillons dans le ventre<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-4n4va84ew20/VRFzlPdL7gI/AAAAAAAAA9g/oHqIUbcExBU/s640/blogger-image-1000826836.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-4n4va84ew20/VRFzlPdL7gI/AAAAAAAAA9g/oHqIUbcExBU/s640/blogger-image-1000826836.jpg" /></a></div>
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I think I've met someone I'm actually falling for, and I hate the feeling. He actually makes me go mad, and now isn't the right time to pine over someone. Not with university just around the corner, not with me moving a few hundred kilometres away, not with summer coming, and us leaving for a little while, not during the same period. I act weird when it comes to him. I overthink my text messages and my snapchats. I think I'm annoying when I send 2 text messages in a row. I usually like being annoying to my friends. It's part of who I am. </div>
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Yep, definitely going mad. I sometimes can't recognize myself as of lately. The way I think, it's not me. Is that what falling for someone is? If it is, I am so happy I've never fallen in love before. I just feel like I'm being played with by this guy. What is wrong with me?</div>
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I feel like this post isn't even coherent! </div>
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Think I'm gonna leave like this.</div>
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Wouldn't want to go mental over this, do I.</div>
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Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-77492163090832461672015-02-21T11:05:00.001-08:002015-04-15T18:40:39.730-07:00Entry nine : un peu de philosophie en cette froide soirée<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-txGAVFtUD3c/VLrO3OeI_II/AAAAAAAAA84/zdmXvjLNZ5A/s1600/_MG_9997.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-txGAVFtUD3c/VLrO3OeI_II/AAAAAAAAA84/zdmXvjLNZ5A/s1600/_MG_9997.JPG" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
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Almost everybody wants to be remembered, become someone, have their name mean something even after they die. Truth is, only a handful of us will have that. When we die, only those close to us will remember us, and once they die, we die with them; as if we were never there. Thing is, maybe our life won't make an impact in this big world we live in, but maybe it can have one on the life of one persons. The person hidden behind his desk, who doesn't even realize that his life is simply flying by until he starts envying the life you have, the person you've become. I'm not talking about wealth, but about actually living the life you were meant to live. Being able to quit your job, explore the world, try new things. Being afraid of it all is okay, but it is a thrill to use this at out advantage. Being afraid is, to me, one of the best feeling one can have. It pushes your limits, and it is exhilarating. </div>
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I used to love writing. In primary school, I was the one who was 200 words over the limit in written productions. In grade 6, My last essay had over a thousand words, and ten years lately, I can barely write 700 words in an essay. What happened ? I used to have such a facility with words, I used to love writing in my little journal. I have a "Sentence a day" type journal now, and barely ever write in it now. Is it the laziness that came with the discovery of technology, or am have I simply been uninspired all those past years? What happened to the little girl who wanted to be a writer? That same little girl who was filled with inspiration ? I still love writing, but I fell like I need to put on so much more effort when doing so than before. Words don't come easily anymore.</div>
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On a different note, I really want to go backpacking in Costa Rica! Hopefully, my friend will be able to take a week off to come with me. Fingers crossed!</div>
Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-24788412726432989252015-01-08T08:02:00.001-08:002015-04-15T18:40:11.360-07:00Entry eight : avez-vous dit influenza?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JLhjSirdoKc/VK6qGJPZxfI/AAAAAAAAA8k/wbfQbIjPhgc/s640/blogger-image-1341781681.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JLhjSirdoKc/VK6qGJPZxfI/AAAAAAAAA8k/wbfQbIjPhgc/s640/blogger-image-1341781681.jpg" /></a></div>
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Yup, you read well, influenza. Proliferating in hospitals like the plague. Wrong vaccine given this year ends up with me, sick as a dog, sleeping all day alongside my dog. And I wanted to start exercising again... At least I get a full week of vacation... Eating soup and watching tv... Which is now how I intended to spend my week. </div>
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It's been awfully cold lately. Around the -30 degrees Celsius. I wouldn't mind if it were for the fact that last week, the temperature was around -2.</div>
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Prom is next week, still don't know what to wear. And I have to find a dress that would fit for the JIIQ too! Cause we have a gala night on Saturday the 24th.</div>
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Might be doing a bit of shopping this weekend.</div>
Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-63556280310190338622015-01-08T07:58:00.001-08:002015-04-15T18:40:29.863-07:00Entry seven : le nouvel an arrive avec l'hiver<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-KFC0Adokzk0/VK6pLsVLuRI/AAAAAAAAA8c/DJldIwvYUBY/s640/blogger-image--491107509.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-KFC0Adokzk0/VK6pLsVLuRI/AAAAAAAAA8c/DJldIwvYUBY/s640/blogger-image--491107509.jpg" /></a></div>
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2014 is in the past, 2015 here we come. Grandad has past away on December 10th. It was quick, but he knew he wouldn't make it past Christmas. I finished my nursing technique with above average grades! This year, for the first time of my life, a boy has presented more interest in me than in my much prettier friends, which is kind of strange as I am really not used to it. Fortunately, they end up being assholes, which is more normal in my situation.</div>
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Other than that, New Year's Eve was fun! Spent it at Annie's place. Ended up in my bed watching episodes of Buffy at 2 am! Weird, but fun, NYE!</div>
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Other than that, work sucks. They only guarantee us 1 weekend out of 2, even though we won't be going to uni this semester. Gahhhh! </div>
Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-23543798642002182352014-12-09T10:37:00.000-08:002014-12-09T10:39:15.707-08:00Entry Six : ce sera probablement un Noël sombre cette année<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--I2gcENTyiA/VIc_f9BTFcI/AAAAAAAAA78/vck6HjUpfEY/s1600/IMG_9541.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--I2gcENTyiA/VIc_f9BTFcI/AAAAAAAAA78/vck6HjUpfEY/s1600/IMG_9541.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
What a shitty start to a shitty week it has been. The dude might have finally figured out that I am not into him and is acting like a drama queen, I have 6 days left to study for the exam of my life, and am not even close to being finished, and finally, mom called to tell me my grandpas might never leave the hospital again. Talk about everything happening at once. The only good news this week are my grades. which have improved so much since I have started the nursing technique ! <u>Above average</u> ! Wow! Never thought I'd keep those grades all semester long!<br />
And my teacher being super confident about me passing the program assessment motivates me a bit more. I so look forward to being done with this!.. and finally have a life!<br />
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<br />Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-34727629903519733242014-12-04T17:27:00.000-08:002014-12-04T17:27:40.462-08:00Entry Five : les stages sont enfin finis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7yWQzAeaBvw/VIEDd0ONIhI/AAAAAAAAA7s/eZ3AcKKsGw0/s1600/2014-12-01%2B20.45.42.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7yWQzAeaBvw/VIEDd0ONIhI/AAAAAAAAA7s/eZ3AcKKsGw0/s1600/2014-12-01%2B20.45.42.jpg" height="640" width="360" /></a></div>
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Today is a happy day, as I am finally done with being evaluated at the hospital! Only 2 exams left and I'm done with the nursing technique. Plus, it was a beautiful day outside. Plus, I might have sold all of the club tickets helping fund the JIIQ. Thought I would never sell those. Autumn has finally reached it's goodbye and winter seems to be here to stay. The snow isn't going anywhere, even on above 0 C days. Winter... love/hate relationship every year. Snow makes even a dull looking place look so magical, but the cold weather and the pollution ruining the decor makes me hate it. Yay, winter in Canada.</div>
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My life has been so boring lately. I've been trying to write often, thinking it might inspire me or something, but it hasn't. Thing is, starting this at the end of a semester is a bad thing, as nothing good happens and I usually have no life at all till the end of the last exam.</div>
Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-86657261036003702002014-11-30T09:17:00.001-08:002014-12-04T16:57:01.884-08:00Entry Four : ennui pendant une journée d'études<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--wznhOShqik/VHtNdfnLpKI/AAAAAAAAA7Q/wf088OBlULc/s1600/_MG_0652.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--wznhOShqik/VHtNdfnLpKI/AAAAAAAAA7Q/wf088OBlULc/s1600/_MG_0652.jpg" height="370" width="640" /></a></div>
Study day, and I hate it. Not able to concentrate at all, and chai latte tea isn't helping. Wednesday was my father's birthday, so we had a lunch with the grandparents and Tom + the family yesterday. Why am I not fat from the food my grandma makes?<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-gdzPGRjm5ns/VHtQywcZGjI/AAAAAAAAA7c/U9hzK49Zu_8/s640/blogger-image--601582044.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-gdzPGRjm5ns/VHtQywcZGjI/AAAAAAAAA7c/U9hzK49Zu_8/s640/blogger-image--601582044.jpg" width="361" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We were 8 at the table, we had soup before and a meal wasn't there yet...</td></tr>
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I hate the final weeks of a semester. Stress is at its highest, and even though we don't have time for it, we've got tons of homework to do, throughout all of the studying. I have a 70% exam in two weeks. I can't handle the homework. I have to revise all of the stuff I've learnt for the past 4 years (I failed two classes).Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-59437074780535015892014-11-24T18:29:00.001-08:002014-11-24T18:30:54.863-08:00Entry Three : la chaleur avant le froid extrême ?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Ij5F-msrPQs/VHPpcYoH1RI/AAAAAAAAA6M/dZjk43PTOTU/s640/blogger-image--875492232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Ij5F-msrPQs/VHPpcYoH1RI/AAAAAAAAA6M/dZjk43PTOTU/s640/blogger-image--875492232.jpg" /></a> </div>
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I don't know why I always start by writing about the weather, but here I am, once again, mentioning it. Writing about how two days ago, it was snowing and slippery and -8 degrees, and how today, it was 16 degrees outside. And I was stuck inside, either at school, or preparing an oral presentation. I hate being a student -.-</div>
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I would love to have an exiting life, having tons of stuff to tell, but truth is, I'm not. I keep thinking that the more I write, the more stuff I'll have to say, so I will just stick to this thought for now, and hope for the best. I love writing, composing sentences, and doing it in English is kind of new, but I find it easier to express myself. Don't ask why.</div>
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<b>About school</b></div>
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Why the fuck did I go in nursing? Why didn't I go in music or any other form of art? Oh yeah... I can't sell my self and I hate practicing hours every day (I get sore fingers..)</div>
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I could just spend my entire day swimming in music and pencils. Guess the lack of confidence is not a good thing when you want to do something of your life. So, yay nursing for that. </div>
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<b>About the dude</b></div>
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No huskies, as they were sold out even though the madam said she would keep one for him. I'm a bit sad, as I love animals. I don't understand what he sees in me, I'm such a bitch with him. He came to see me yesterday even though I told him I might fall asleep in his face (which didn't happen, but he still ended up watching a penguin documentary with me)</div>
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Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-55247245161003949202014-11-20T18:18:00.001-08:002014-11-24T18:30:43.612-08:00Entry Two : ah comme la neige a neigé, ma vitre est un jardin de givre<br />
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<a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ZQqYes0lzzE/VG6g8aFqXsI/AAAAAAAAA58/EyyVPKaROME/s640/blogger-image-1415267510.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ZQqYes0lzzE/VG6g8aFqXsI/AAAAAAAAA58/EyyVPKaROME/s640/blogger-image-1415267510.jpg" /></a></div>
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I think my body is slowly remembering what winter is... Or maybe am I getting fatter without noticing it and the fat is keeping me warm... How fall passes by too fast, and winter makes its way too soon. </div>
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On another note, dyed my hair (again) today. Roots are brown again! </div>
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Today was a good day at the hospital. The teacher wasn't bothering me as much as usual, which is usually a good sign!</div>
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<b>About the dude</b></div>
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Going to see baby Huskies next Saturday with him. Babies huskies ❤️! </div>
Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106584886265061914.post-39140842741154509602014-11-19T14:11:00.001-08:002014-11-19T17:17:20.204-08:00Entry One : un tapis de neige recouvrait le sol ce matin<br />
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<a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-0K0xtZOHiFA/VG0VkofRlwI/AAAAAAAAA5c/PUz0bPv5lCc/s640/blogger-image--1244829543.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="362" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-0K0xtZOHiFA/VG0VkofRlwI/AAAAAAAAA5c/PUz0bPv5lCc/s640/blogger-image--1244829543.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Winter is starting to show its nose, and I am not ready for it. Cold weather, slippery roads, no winter tires at the moment (since when is it snowing in November?). I just feel like hibernating would be an awesome solution to go through winter! Sleeping for months would surely do me some good, since I've been lacking sleep since the beginning of the semester (nursing studies are such a pain in the ass!). It is a good thing chai lattes exist. They are my life saver for the lack of sleep and the cold weather! </div>
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<b>About the dude</b></div>
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I don't know what is going on, what WE are, we didn't define the relationship, and I don't know what I want. I think he's in love, and I'm pretty sure I'm not. Even if he is super sweet and kind, I don't feel any connection going on whatsoever! And I feel so guilty about this... Am I being a bitch for not defining anything?</div>
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<b>About school</b></div>
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I can't wait to be done with it! Cannot bear the thought of my last 4 years being evaluated in a single exam... Thinking about it gives me a headache.</div>
Evelynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04307406873431721229noreply@blogger.com0